Dusty Wyndow Blog

Our first Volunteer, Mr. Michel from Koura. Picture by Rimal Abeed. Being severely brought down by all the notorious stench in the air the last few weeks, the three of us had decided to do something about it. Just as any other activity in Trablos, things had happened so spontaneously and smoothly. Discussions have been taking place for almost a month before that, but never were more serious than the week before, where we managed to borrow a guitar for Rimal to practice with, Moussa would practice his drawing skills, and I would prepare basically everything else in order to have a smooth chillout time for everybody, and offer people something they were craving for, I assume. I wonder to myself sometimes, what have we got in this, all of us? It’s neither Rimal, Moussa or le moi that are getting paid anything for taking that action (something society fiercely teaches you in order to survive), neither are we taking any credit, any promotion, not even appraisal. And the photos & sto...

Well, I got this pretty darn bad habit of not doing the birthday dues on time, and I've been lately avoiding birthdays all in all. Yet, for one of my brothers, I’m willing to make an exception. On April 15th 1998, I was bending over my grandma’s balcony waving goodbye to my teary mom who was waiting in front of the open door of that car, while everybody else was already inside. For a moment, and regardless of my young age at the time, it hit me. My mom was utterly sad. She felt so bad for having that baby and now that it’s about to deliver, she never felt worse. My smile for a split second turned into a frown and somehow I managed to get it all. This pregnancy was totally unexpected. Flash backward in time, there was that home in Azmi street with a mom and two boys who lived their life day by day, and felt supreme joy around each other and most importantly whenever they were visited by their aunts, mom’s side’s aunts. Ever since we, the boys, knew we’ll be having an ad...

Sine Wave "When you reach to your very source of being, where you are completely in the mood of the spring, and the flowers are showering on you, you suddenly feel a gratitude not directed to anybody, just like a fragrance arising out of you, just as incense brings ripples of smokes and fragrance, moving towards the unknown sky and disappearing" Left the taxi heading back home, it was only a couple 100s of meters and was totally worth the walk, yet all of a sudden I get this instant urge to be thankful.  And there I was, foolishly singing my thankfulness along all while not being able to resist smiling and waving my hands up in the air. Weird eh? I’d definitely point at me by calling myself a lunatic if I ever bumped into me, but I was happy, who cares then? "A sine wave is predefined, pre-programmed and pre-destined. It's the symbolism for life, ups and downs. And it is found to be the base harmonic for literally everything in life. And we, humans, are no diffe...

What's happening this moment is just stunning to me, riding the bus back to Tripoli is officially the only me time there ever was recently. Bus ride back home, Beirut towards Tripoli I once criticized a friend/manager I worked with in the past for being himself and having some personal time only on the airplane, all while traveling to another busy destination with the same hectic schedule as ever. I never thought, at this age at least, that I would turn the same, exactly the same. It's come to a point where my friend recently jokingly called me schizophrenic, for failing to remember an appointment we had in a couple days and having spoken about it the day before. Little did she know that I totally lost it: the ability to concentrate in details is having a picnic, far away from where I am. Taken at Istanbul airport What makes it worse is the fact that my character forces me to be somewhat passive, which automatically drives me to avoid activeness as much as possible and...

"أذكروا هادم اللذات" It would be stupid for me to hide the fact that I'm yearning to spend some time in a grave, my grave. I confided a close friend with this secret recently, only not to keep it within me and grow into becoming a burden. Her support was a relief, she understood and offered some help. I felt I was not alone. Am I that emotionally disturbed to ask for such a simple thing? Am I this paranoid to want to lay down in a grave? Am I the type of people that are so dysfunctional that they only succeed at burying themselves? No, no and a no. I'm a fully functioning, fully productive human being who constantly has the feeling of wanting to lay down for as long as possible, 6 feet down, with the company of someone close, waiting at the edge in case something happened. It might be the state of mind I always find myself at, the type of psychological state that constantly asks me to remember death. A teacher threw a poll at a class ...

I've been thinking a lot lately of the day I get cancer. Would I be the man with a well-fit family by his side, and lots of friends supporting him, which by the way would be unknowingly helping in letting him go? I was just reading the story of a man, with a wife, kids and lots of friends, and who just had discovered he had throat cancer. He was taken to the hospital where the doctor in charge had ordered an operation, after which the infection got worse and another operation was put in place to finally take out the throat. The man, all desperate and miserable of had come to him and what would happen later on, just when he was about to fall for his friends and family's recommendations to take his throat off, received a message from a long-forgotten friend, talking about a center for treating cancer, run by a doctor, a woman who follows unorthodox ways to "cure" cancer (by curing I mean eliminating) with mostly live, green, uncooked food. That was it. His despair ...

I am growing up, I used to fiercely fight the urge to grow up but somehow I'm being constantly beaten by my own ego, my own character. I am growing up no matter how hard I try. I am getting more tired and exhausted than I was 3 years ago. I began to take the most obvious things to wonder about, for granted. I am starting to let go of the small things I used to do in order to laugh. I am losing so many friends in the process, and most importantly both the woman who brought me to the world and the woman in whose lap I was supposed to rest for the rest of my life. I lost them. No matter how much I tried to fix the problems i apparently helped in creating, I still find myself unable to recuperate what I could from my childhood and innocence, my calm thinking and my passive take on life, a striking feeling of wanting to buy something, a feeling of arrogance kicks-in here or there. I am becoming an egoist, a stupid being full of arrogance. To prove that, count the "I"s in thi...

Source:  Original Article The Last Confession was the straw that broke the camel's back: What I started on my previous post  was phenomenal, it was pretty obvious that I had to document it. If you're still unfamiliar with what I'm talking about, check the Anonymous Confessions blog post; I had announced I want to play a game, based on the work of an american artist. Source:  Anonymous Confessions The thread of confessions started out with the following: "I still love her" "İt hurts not to see him" "I do care about what people think of me" Several anonymous persons decided to join later on, upon seeing the first feedback, and thought it might be a good idea to throw in their own confession, since, in the end, everything was totally anonymous. The majority spoke of relationships, parents, self esteem, aspirations, and unfinished love stories. Until the last guest posted their comment : "Confession 1: I wish I can help everyone who...

Ever wondered what the bunch of great people that came to knowing and carved their names in history would've felt like during the course of their days? What was Einstein's bath like? Did he just plunge his body inside the hot-water-filled tub and leave his thoughts for time to dismantle while he soaks? Were he concerned if he ever forgot the towel? Or was he the type of people to overjoy about the bits and pieces in absurd reality trying to give it some essence while waiting for some achievement to kick in? Einstein How did Jesus's face feel like? Did he ever trim his beard? Ever cut his hair? How? What was seeing him from afar like? Did he ever cough? How did he smell like? Was he of a deep toned voice or slightly thinner? Would he rather skip around of joy or hide the feeling for the sake of his divine emblem? Didn't he ever pick a rose to smell? Did he ever have a deja-vu? How was it like? What would Muhammad have done if he ever stepped in poop? How would he ...

[Continuation of the previous post ] It was the turn of another man, a man that apparently lived his entire life out of Lebanon. He was extremely happy, filled with beauty and overflowing with satisfaction. He, and his female companion, were eager to park nearby and have a chat: The man seemed to be dying to tell his story to someone, basically anyone. “Ok so, I have two stories to tell you. Ready?” The first was of the reason he was imprisoned, he lived his life in Africa, where planting Marijuana in one’s backyard was common. Upon coming to live in Lebanon, he gave it no thought and thought it was considered the same, therefore he ended up imprisoned for planting (and by the Lebanese law, trading) two plants of Marijuana or “Hasheesh”, that he planted in the first place for personal use only. Eventually he got out of jail pretty soon. The second story on the other hand left me traumatized for a few seconds. A while back he found out he wasn’t the son of his father, his father is ...

Here's what went through my mind during my morning nap in the minibus: Photo by Rayyan Jamous "I just realized that I have no passion, I don't remember the last time I risked my life for something; I am passive generally and don't have any sort of personal extremism. I cannot define things easily. I have trouble with maintaining relationships. I suck at time management and prioritizing. I am selfish though I have lots to give, which gives me constant headache. I realized I have a great amount of grudge, being the only answer to most of the emotional problems I faced, thus making it a trend to see my frown in the mirror. I came to know I am literally empty, and I know it. I wait no compassion from anyone because I've had enough with compliments: compliments to me are lies with make-up. What if I've been living a lie all these years? First at class for several years in a row? I never asked to be classified as the front row geek at school, regardless ...

Let's play a game, shall we? Apparently there's been an exhibition, a public art project for the american artist  Candy Chang  who thought it would be interesting to open up a space where people can anonymously project their confessions, their deepest secrets, and enjoy the reaction of whoever reads it. Source: Original Article "By the end of the exhibition, over 1500 confessions were displayed on the walls. It’s about sex, love, or fears of dying alone. By collecting the confessions of the hotel’s visitors, this project seeks to create a cathartic sanctuary for this temporary community and help us see we are not alone in our quirks, experiences, and struggles as we try to lead fulfilling lives." Source: Original Article Source: Original Article This post is written for the benefit of the public. I invite you everyone to do the same, let's share our secrets. Hint : Post your confession in the comment field below while choosing the " ...

Up til this day I often get people wondering what is TED talks. Personally TEDxBeirut is your dose of enthusiasm, self motivation, faith in humanity, and worldly peace altogether. Well, that would be my definition as I stated. Here's what the TEDxBeirut organizers had to say on their Facebook Page : "TEDxBeirut is a gathering of wonderful minds, designed to inspire, nurture and propagate great ideas in compliance with TED’s mission of  “changing attitude, lives, and ultimately the world”. We are accountants, students, doctors, lawyers, media people, housewives and your neighbor next door. We have one thing in common – a desire to push the boundaries, make a difference and maybe even leave a legacy." Read more on their page And it was, definitely a gathering of wonderful minds, wanting to share with the world their success stories, their aspirations and dreams, their life-changing moments. The Interviews Collage of some speakers at their interviews. Courtesy ...