Dusty Wyndow Blog

The article below was triggered by a recent conversation I had with a friend lately. Those few lines were enough to surface a large amount of hatred, anger and despair as well, that were all hidden for as far as my parents' divorce 10 years ago. Here's part of what he had to say upon me asking him what he would do in times he felt down: - I get very irritated and feel like breaking down or curl against a corner and just sleep on it (dysthymia). Its nothing new but i've been coping for years and recent events were a catalyst for more depressive episodes. - Do you ever tell anyone about this? Or at least do you have anyone by your side? - I only have a therapist to work with. Besides that, i have no familial or social support. They just don't understand. - what do you think would've prevented this phase? what do you wish of having around that you'll be sure would help you out? - A decent family. A decent society. A decent everything There is no do...

Here's what went through my mind during my morning nap in the minibus: Photo by Rayyan Jamous "I just realized that I have no passion, I don't remember the last time I risked my life for something; I am passive generally and don't have any sort of personal extremism. I cannot define things easily. I have trouble with maintaining relationships. I suck at time management and prioritizing. I am selfish though I have lots to give, which gives me constant headache. I realized I have a great amount of grudge, being the only answer to most of the emotional problems I faced, thus making it a trend to see my frown in the mirror. I came to know I am literally empty, and I know it. I wait no compassion from anyone because I've had enough with compliments: compliments to me are lies with make-up. What if I've been living a lie all these years? First at class for several years in a row? I never asked to be classified as the front row geek at school, regardless ...