Dusty Wyndow Blog

"أذكروا هادم اللذات" It would be stupid for me to hide the fact that I'm yearning to spend some time in a grave, my grave. I confided a close friend with this secret recently, only not to keep it within me and grow into becoming a burden. Her support was a relief, she understood and offered some help. I felt I was not alone. Am I that emotionally disturbed to ask for such a simple thing? Am I this paranoid to want to lay down in a grave? Am I the type of people that are so dysfunctional that they only succeed at burying themselves? No, no and a no. I'm a fully functioning, fully productive human being who constantly has the feeling of wanting to lay down for as long as possible, 6 feet down, with the company of someone close, waiting at the edge in case something happened. It might be the state of mind I always find myself at, the type of psychological state that constantly asks me to remember death. A teacher threw a poll at a class ...

I've been thinking a lot lately of the day I get cancer. Would I be the man with a well-fit family by his side, and lots of friends supporting him, which by the way would be unknowingly helping in letting him go? I was just reading the story of a man, with a wife, kids and lots of friends, and who just had discovered he had throat cancer. He was taken to the hospital where the doctor in charge had ordered an operation, after which the infection got worse and another operation was put in place to finally take out the throat. The man, all desperate and miserable of had come to him and what would happen later on, just when he was about to fall for his friends and family's recommendations to take his throat off, received a message from a long-forgotten friend, talking about a center for treating cancer, run by a doctor, a woman who follows unorthodox ways to "cure" cancer (by curing I mean eliminating) with mostly live, green, uncooked food. That was it. His despair ...

I feel like writing about my first photosession for couples, which happened to be with the lovely couple Wissam and Angie. It felt a bit strange to be invading the privacy of two persons while revealing their cherished moments together. I knew it was the hesitation of the first few minutes, and I knew I had to do something about it. I decided at first to take single shots of each of them, while the other helps me with the setup and lighting. A new kind of connection started to grow between me and my subjects, and confidence is building up instantly. It was necessary to break the ice at certain moments and take photos of both of them, especially when the shot was worth it. A couple of times Wissam was holding the reflector in front of Angie's face, and suddenly something happens that makes a worthy shot at hands: he might laugh at her, she might feel annoyed about his behavior, etc.. These little details were the key to open up, especially when there were some discomfort. Ala...

I had always wondered what the Baddawi Camp for Palestinian Refugees looked like. Although it was only 10 minutes away from my residence in Tripoli, I've never been there before. We Love Tripoli ’s event Shoot as you walk was my opportunity to have been there for the first time in my life, and to my good luck, holding my camera, fully loaded and focused on taking pictures. Waylon and Reine were invited to come along and spend the morning with us in the camp, to have a better outlook on the situation Palestinian refugees are living in. Eight-thirty that morning was our time to ride the bus heading to the camp. I was, as most of the people there, concerned about the security measures and of course, whether a permit was taken in order to take photographs inside the camp. The organizers, and especially Taha Naji, have already taken this into consideration and obviously got the permit and an additional entourage throughout the camp. Our first stop was around an old dysfunctional ...

I sold my kindle just tonight, a few hours ago, the kindle I kept dreaming of having ever since I heard of it, for a bicycle in exchange, topped with a 40$ in difference. I failed at keeping it of use and therefore I sold it. At the same time, today Farzat, a great guy got back his bicycle, the bicycle I was supposed to buy (a good racing bike) but decided to return it at the last minute. My old camera, the Nikon D80 is on sale now, for a bundle worth 900$ at the moment, having the body along with two lenses. In return I now have the newer D7000 (that I barely got the chance to use) which I got from a Lebanese business man last week in Gemmayzeh, on the night at which he was supposed to fly to the US. I have now two bicycles, just as before; I have a new camera, just as before, but with the only difference of being a 1000$ richer. Yes, a 1000$ in 2 months, effectively in 2 weeks. This is business, this is making money out of substantially attractive deals and once-in-a-lifet...