Mar 19, 2013

A Wake Up Call - When Cancer Hits

I've been thinking a lot lately of the day I get cancer. Would I be the man with a well-fit family by his side, and lots of friends supporting him, which by the way would be unknowingly helping in letting him go?


I was just reading the story of a man, with a wife, kids and lots of friends, and who just had discovered he had throat cancer. He was taken to the hospital where the doctor in charge had ordered an operation, after which the infection got worse and another operation was put in place to finally take out the throat. The man, all desperate and miserable of had come to him and what would happen later on, just when he was about to fall for his friends and family's recommendations to take his throat off, received a message from a long-forgotten friend, talking about a center for treating cancer, run by a doctor, a woman who follows unorthodox ways to "cure" cancer (by curing I mean eliminating) with mostly live, green, uncooked food. That was it. His despair led him to flee to the center, knowing that whatever happens he'd at least remain away from the knife. Four months later, his cousin managed to find him. As he entered the center, he was told to go to a room where a few patients were circling a man listening as he told them stories with bright eyes. It didn't take the man a long time to realize that storyteller was his then-cancer-infected cousin, the man whose throat was about to be removed a few months ago.

When will I have cancer? Or is it that I already have it and I still haven't found out yet? I bet most of the ones that have feelings for me would feel sad and force me to stop thinking this way, but I don't have time for emotions anymore.

When will you have cancer? What will you do then? Don't ignore it. The cigarettes you smoke/inhale every single waking day will give you cancer. The fast food will give you cancer. The over industrial sugar and commercial food will add to it. All the anger and negativity you hold inside will contribute as well.

My grandmother died with cancer, my aunts are most probably infected with a dormant type. My mom will surely have cancer, if not by heredity then by the smoking rate and the miserable life she's living now. It kills me not to be able to change my surrounding at least, let alone a whole society.

I wrote this post to try to get down to earth once and for all and reassure myself that when cancer comes, I'd be most ready. The moment I know cancer has found its way to me, I would leave it all, try my best to go somewhere new, preferably with no people at all, and live there. No medicine is to enter my body, no pills and no additional tests. I will let go of my anger, of my ego, my own hopes and expectations. I will forgive everyone, I will see myself in every other person there is. I will offer my possessions for those who need it. I will spend my life in giving with nothing in return. I would teach myself how to tell jokes. I would stay with the poor and eat with the homeless. I would become happy.

See? Cancer is in fact the answer.

Cancer is only a signal my friend, it's not a disease anymore. We either accept the challenge and know what to fix, or we might as well be dead before we know it, only waiting to be buried. Wake up and see how and why you're ruining your own self, fix it before cancer would come and fix it itself.

PS: this post is only to speak my tongue, to tell you how I feel about the whole issue. I know this is no joke to most of you out there who dealt with cancer themselves or through loved ones. Take it as a personal blog post, as thinking out loud and forgive my ignorance.

11 comments:

  1. It is not as easy when you have children. You would want to fight for them at any cost, be it chemicals in your body or a sacrifice of body parts.
    By the way, I love reading your blog, and admire your sensitivity.

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  2. It's funny you wrote this. I have a note in my phone that I wrote a while back. I read it everyday, it says: "you don't have cancer yet, you have a job, you have a house, you have friends, you have family. Breathe today, tomorrow may be in the wind". It helps me look at the big picture when I feel myself drowning in details and anger about everyday.

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  3. that was an eye-opener. Never thought of it this way. Ever thought of what would you do in case you had cancer?

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  4. Yes I have. In fact, because of this note, I now wake up everyday with the thought that tomorrow I might be diagnosed with cancer. This has been the only way for me to push through nihilism and into something even deeper. This is life, we know nothing more of it. The best we can do is live it with as much passion, love and happiness as possible. This has given me the courage to take risks, speak my mind, fall in love, and be exactly who I am. The last thing I would want if I woke up with cancer tomorrow is to be flooded with regret.

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    1. you are doing way better than I am. I am happy for you, maybe you can teach us all how to treat ourselves better, the way we deserve to be. Being "drowned in details" is not a bad thing as long as you're able to control it and balance it, which is what you're doing now.

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    2. I owe you a book Mr. Nath. Still haven't forgotten you :) Take it easy, the worst thing to do is stress about being stress, or be depressed because we are depressed. It's normal. What's not normal is never waking up in the morning and wondering if everyone is crazy or you're the one whose crazy. What's not normal is never waking up in the morning and feeling like the bed is the best place ever and you never wanna leave. And what's not normal is never sitting in a chaos of a country, in a chaos of a life, wondering if it's even worth it to continue. There's no hope without despair, but there's consolation in knowing that we are (mostly) all in this together.

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  5. My dad got cancer. It's not nice. He's suffering. More and more. It's hard to deal with it. For him. For me. But what's the alternative? Great post by the way. Great thoughts.

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  6. U made be go back in time almost 10 years ago. I was back then with my best friend playing a game when I asked her: How do u think u'll die? She said very old in bed and I said with cancer.
    I wish no one close to you suffers from cancer especially ur mum, it's easy to talk about it when ur not involved...
    Bless you Natheer...

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    1. I don't dare telling her this, but I wouldn't feel sad if she dies happy. On the other hand, if she were to die suffering from a tumor, cancer or whatever, I'd only cry over her dead body cause she (and obviously I) couldn't help in preventing this from happening. And yes, I think it's easy since it's not me who's involved, but yet, sometimes I wish it hits me, might be my wakeup bell. Exactly why we thank god for everything, literally.

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  7. I am so inspired with your story. Keep informing us and keep sharing all of your experiences so we can also learn from you. Me and my alternative treatments to cancer center likes this so much! Have a nice day!

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