My morning was extremely emotional, with no specific reason, and No, it's not my period, yet.
Could be the grief over the few people we lost this week, even if I never had met them. The feeling of sorrow to have heard this morning a close friend of mine was threatened with murder and now is leaving the country with all means. The feeling of despair over myself with all the personal challenges I'm facing and the endless errands I need to finish.
Could be the insurmountable joy to see friends achieving their dreams, growing up and becoming better people. To feel a pulse of creativity upon meeting an artist with an impeccable work last night. The joy and anticipation of hosting a dinner tonight at my place and meeting my friends again after a long time. The thrill of seeing my todo list shrinking in size. The warmth of having friends ready to stand by me whenever needed, the joy of receiving compliments whenever needed. The fact that a person or two might be enough to keep you going. The pride I'm taking in my photography skills.
Could be the small details I was memorizing today in what concerns my colleagues. The touches, the handshakes, the laughs, the annoyances, the jokes, the faces, the colors, the gathering, etc.. I know something is about to change sooner or later, and I will miss this. Gosh I hate this..
Today was the first time somebody tells me I've changed, in a way that touches exactly what I've been telling myself lately. It was the cleaning lady at my company, or in fact our company-mom, who's been around me for the last couple years. She has come to me to drag me away of my excursion in never-ending thoughts, my 15-minutes daydreaming break whenever the kitchen is empty. It was her question that shook me, "what's wrong Natheer?". I replied acting as if I didn't get what she was pointing out, she replied with "you used to come joyful and greet people". My answer was "well I guess I got tired of greeting people". She smiled.