Colorful Pensiveness

-
نِمشي ونِمشي..
Isn't it surprising this shift to the blog back again instead of posting on Facebook? I wonder what's the reason that pushed me this morning to fill that white emptiness of my blog, growing molds all around from all the drafts thrown away on the side waiting the day to be published.

My morning was extremely emotional, with no specific reason, and No, it's not my period, yet.

Could be the grief over the few people we lost this week, even if I never had met them. The feeling of sorrow to have heard this morning a close friend of mine was threatened with murder and now is leaving the country with all means. The feeling of despair over myself with all the personal challenges I'm facing and the endless errands I need to finish.

Could be the insurmountable joy to see friends achieving their dreams, growing up and becoming better people. To feel a pulse of creativity upon meeting an artist with an impeccable work last night. The joy and anticipation of hosting a dinner tonight at my place and meeting my friends again after a long time. The thrill of seeing my todo list shrinking in size. The warmth of having friends ready to stand by me whenever needed, the joy of receiving compliments whenever needed. The fact that a person or two might be enough to keep you going. The pride I'm taking in my photography skills.

Could be the small details I was memorizing today in what concerns my colleagues. The touches, the handshakes, the laughs, the annoyances, the jokes, the faces, the colors, the gathering, etc.. I know something is about to change sooner or later, and I will miss this. Gosh I hate this..

Today was the first time somebody tells me I've changed, in a way that touches exactly what I've been telling myself lately. It was the cleaning lady at my company, or in fact our company-mom, who's been around me for the last couple years. She has come to me to drag me away of my excursion in never-ending thoughts, my 15-minutes daydreaming break whenever the kitchen is empty. It was her question that shook me, "what's wrong Natheer?". I replied acting as if I didn't get what she was pointing out, she replied with "you used to come joyful and greet people". My answer was "well I guess I got tired of greeting people". She smiled.

Comments

  1. Anonymous26/9/13 9:51 PM

    You greet the world with your existence Natheer...you dont have to greet people if you don't feel like doing it!
    I actually read your post out loud this time (Someone new can hear that now..)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ymn27/9/13 7:58 PM

    Lol @ no it's not my period yet :D
    U have reached a higher level in writing, not that I can judge but at least this is what I get. U were trying too hard in previous posts, now I can feel the words flow naturally as I read them. And more importantly they touched my heart...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anonymous Confessions

-
Image
Let's play a game, shall we? Apparently there's been an exhibition, a public art project for the american artist  Candy Chang  who thought it would be interesting to open up a space where people can anonymously project their confessions, their deepest secrets, and enjoy the reaction of whoever reads it. Source: Original Article "By the end of the exhibition, over 1500 confessions were displayed on the walls. It’s about sex, love, or fears of dying alone. By collecting the confessions of the hotel’s visitors, this project seeks to create a cathartic sanctuary for this temporary community and help us see we are not alone in our quirks, experiences, and struggles as we try to lead fulfilling lives." Source: Original Article Source: Original Article This post is written for the benefit of the public. I invite you everyone to do the same, let's share our secrets. Hint : Post your confession in the comment field below while choosing the "
Read more

The Death of Laurent Schwebel

-
Image
An email found its way to my inbox, with a PowerPoint presentation attached, seemingly having photographs inside, in a way to remember the great photographer Schwebel who was stabbed lately in Buenos Aires, while taking snapshots of a local memorial. Such emails are easily thrown into the garbage bin usually, but the familiarity of the photographer's name was the reason I opened the presentation: And what a shock that was! Firstly, here's a translated extract of the Swiss Grandes Espaces  on the latest incident: Wednesday morning, February 8, 2012, Laurent Schwebel, 52, was stabbed to death by a thug who stole his camera in the center of Buenos Aires. The murderer, 24, was chased by witnesses of the drama, and apprehended by the police. Lawrence returned from Antarctic trip with Christian Genillard, and rejoiced to discover the Iguassu Falls before returning to his Alsace. More on the incident is found here . Laurent Schwebel You might be wondering why would I
Read more

Forward Forum - The Booklet

-
Image
I've been looking around for a digital copy of the Forward Forum booklet, the recruitment forum that took place last weekend in BIEL, Beirut. I attended for the sake of getting a copy of that booklet, a role I played ever since I was in college, and of course to meet my peers and exhibiting companies. I usually get the booklet and share it among friends, and whoever needs it and for some reason couldn't be there. Here's an extract of the organizers' webpage : "After last year's tremendous success and on behalf of CAREERS & E Square –Events & Exhibitions , it gives us great pleasure to invite you to the thirteenth edition of the International Forum for Orientation & Recruitment, FORWARD 2013 and to the third edition of, BUSINESS 2013 which will be both held at BIEL- Lebanon from Thursday, 18th till Sunday, 21st April 2013 and from 4:00 pm till 10:00 pm ." The forum takes place every year, mostly in BIEL, at the beginning of spring sea
Read more

Roadmap to a National Cycling Day

-
Image
Here's why tomorrow, April 25th, is a big day in the history of Lebanon. For decades we had been accustomed to riding cars, whether for leisure or for work; that same car had been going hand in hand with social status: you have no car, you then belong to the poor. Owning a high end car, on the other hand, meant you're doing well, and thus earn society's respect in some way. Fast forward to last year where two girls, with the help of friends, had started what we know today as the BikeToWork day, years after being infatuated with the charm of the four-wheelers, as in to try and encourage an entire nation to go back to the days the majority had no cars. How did they get around? How were delivery boys getting by? How did my grandfather and yours go to work at their younger years? It's that mesmerizing slinky beast we all call the bicycle. I mean, it's often cheap, doesn't really cost any maintenance really, doesn't break down easily, doesn't take up
Read more

Anonymous Confessions, The Epilogue

-
Image
Source:  Original Article The Last Confession was the straw that broke the camel's back: What I started on my previous post  was phenomenal, it was pretty obvious that I had to document it. If you're still unfamiliar with what I'm talking about, check the Anonymous Confessions blog post; I had announced I want to play a game, based on the work of an american artist. Source:  Anonymous Confessions The thread of confessions started out with the following: "I still love her" "İt hurts not to see him" "I do care about what people think of me" Several anonymous persons decided to join later on, upon seeing the first feedback, and thought it might be a good idea to throw in their own confession, since, in the end, everything was totally anonymous. The majority spoke of relationships, parents, self esteem, aspirations, and unfinished love stories. Until the last guest posted their comment : "Confession 1: I wish I can help everyone who
Read more

The Tourist That Shall Never Leave

-
Image
I never had thought I’d see the day when I mourn the library. I’m still literally traumatized, two hours later, convincing myself what I had heard about burning down the library was inaccurate, that some agencies are exaggerating and that it could be some ignorants were trying to cause damage to a shop nearby. It was all until I laid eyes upon that photo of the flames hurling out of the library’s door in that tiny alleyway, that I believed the news. The moment I heard of the news, and since I was at my place in Beirut, I packed my stuff instantly and tried to head back to Tripoli. To my bad luck, 40 minutes on the highway weren’t enough to get me a bus to my old city.. I felt so powerless I sat on the sidewalk and started shivering. A little while later, and just moments ago, the news was confirmed, the books are to ashes now, the old library is gone. I want you to understand it’s not about the books. Yes the books are worth a lot, a lot of money, a lot of effort, sweat, night shif
Read more