Time to find Happiness

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I've been preaching and teaching people how and where to find true happiness, and that heaven is not up there, it's right in between our fingers, in between our teeth, it's only but a way of life... Ever heard of the saying "the shoemaker's shoes are always worn out"? A sarcastic smile is drawn upon my face when I infuse this thought into my neurones; yes unfortunately, I'm that shoemaker that still lacks the guts/knowledge/brilliance (call it whatever suits you best) to find that inner jewel in natheer. I'm surrounded with the greatest people ever. I have a lover that's always ready to forget the past and start over whenever we need it. She'll turn into the most astonishing woman soon, and I know it. I also have the mother everyone would burst into tears when they hear her story, how she always misses me, and how she feels so upset when I'm simply, not happy... I also feel, or maybe hear, those people try to reach me and say we'd like to help but "you just don't let us".....

Most of those who have physically met me are truly and deeply aware that I don't speak that much, that I lack the power to put myself on the chart, to acknowledge myself and to admit that I do have my own choices in all aspects of the surrounding. You're probably saying
 "well that's easy nath, just say whatever comes to mind whatever may the consequences be" and as my lover now knows, I just smile and turn around, for no one actually gets to the bottom of it, not even the womb I lived inside for a whole 9 months...

What's next? Multiple nervous breakdowns, several tears now and then, repetitive absence in work, and of course and most important of all, the loss of those people that are the closest to my heart. Isn't it amazing in fact? To have built and established inside people what makes them feel satisfied but at the same time missing the only piece of mind that should get me there? Ironic eh?

Now after writing the above, and having a second look at the title, I ask is it really the time to find happiness? As always, I smile, and walk away...

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