Dealing with Failure

He asked me "do you speak French?” I answered with the most confident "oui je parles le Francais". He asked me a technical question about transmission lines and distribution in Medium Voltage to Low Voltage, and all I could do was mumble. Yes I failed. The other man, Mark the German, tried to maneuver the questions by making a turn-around that I also failed at. Just like any other close-minded, I am only seeing the black out of all the white. What happened in fact was that I impressed them both with the knowledge and the strength of operation I had in regards to procurement in engineering especially, but I can’t describe what happened when he asked me to speak in french. Was it the ongoing thought inside my mind telling me that I’m in the wrong place? That I don’t need this job? Or was it the lack of confidence I keep hiding away?

We, the three of us, had a blast! Yes we had a blast implicitly confessing that this interview is going all wrong, that I don’t like them or their offer, that they found other people who are already better than me. Nothing but a big joke it was.

It all started a few days ago when I got a call from a lady, Nidal, who told me I had an interview for a company I already was an intern at a while ago, and a position that I didn’t apply for. I already double-checked today, when she presented me the form-to-fill, “did I apply for this job? I don’t remember I ever did” she replied with a relaxing confirmation that she just picked up my resume. The two of them came in and starting manipulating all sorts of direct and to-the-point questions. They seemed in a rush, not having enough time to be interviewing another arrogant engineer, wearing the most, and only, expensive outfit he possesses, with his neck all bulged by that tie he spent hours to choose, and who will surely put up front his expensive smart phone and buffed up walled. But no, this one is different he must have thought. This one came in a colored shirt, folding the sleeves all the way up, with a tiny bag in his bag that must contain what looks like a camera. And oh! The beard! He must be either a real religious person or a ziadist (a person who tries to imitate ziad al rahbany due to heavily believing in his thought, and thus, growing a beard).

I am well sure of this now, that this kind of situations is what makes a human make an extra effort to prove once and for all that he can’t fail. Am I to accept that failure, continue my life normally and say I just had another experience? Or am I to say “I am not a quitter, I will prove to myself and to them that I know enough french and that I can explain what equipment we use at transmission bla bla” ? I’m smiling now :) Thank you reader..